#3. START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT EVERYTHING

Continuing on with item no.2 on the list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself / list of 30 things to start doing for yourself. I started with #1 and #2.

WHAT “START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT EVERYTHING” MEANS

Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.

Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

which also means….

STOP LYING TO YOURSELF

You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.

Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. 

LET’S BE HONEST…

Let’s be honest here, this is hard to do. Excuses. Self-talk. Guilt. Obligations. Pfft. To truly be honest with yourself is straight up, damn hard.

It’s quite brave and takes courage to search your soul and truly be honest about yourself about your faults, your negative self-talk, your ego, your excuses, your true wants and desires, your guilt, your passions, your will, your strengths, your weaknesses — the irksome and the awesomeness that is in you. 

So when I think about this notion, “Start being honest with yourself about everything,” I realize my whole journey (how I got here) makes a whole lot of sense. When I was too busy it was harder to be honest. But when I was able to stop and be still, to ponder, perhaps mediate, perhaps counseling, about what I truly want and where I truly want to go — my life became more focused and joyful. 

BABY STEPS

Yes, I can be a sh*t. I have been one. I have blamed others and not been honest about my own faults. But when I became still and admitted to my foibles to myself…and then celebrated my accomplishments and potential for kindness, being honest became easier.

So, the part that needs exponentially more work than being honest is that part where I can enhance (rather than improve) my life only when I take chances. Sigh. Why is that part so hard? ….It can only be found through being honest with myself. The work continues…

Damn straight!

THE LAUGHING HEART

your life is your life

don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.

be on the watch.

there are ways out.

there is a light somewhere.

it may not be much light but

it beats darkness.

be on the watch.

the gods offer you chances.

know them.

take them.

you can’t beat death but

you can beat death in life, sometimes.

and the more often you learn to do it,

the more light there will be.

your life is your life.

know life is your life.

know it while you have it.

you are marvelous

the gods wait to delight

in you.

- Charles Bukowski

#2. START FACING YOUR PROBLEMS HEAD ON

Continuing on with item no.2 on the list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself / list of 30 things to start doing for yourself. I started with #1 HERE.

START FACING PROBLEMS HEAD ON

It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action.

Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

which also means….

STOP RUNNING FROM YOUR PROBLEMS

Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.

We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.

This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

BABY STEPS

I have run away from problems, or at least snubbed many of them in the hopes they would go away miraculously on their own. What is that? Wishful thinking or passive-aggressiveness?

I’m starting — baby steps — with turning my thinking around to not react to other people and problems. You know what I mean? It is true that we are made to stumble, hurt, get upset, get sad, be disappointed in someone or ourselves, and fall and fall and fall.

THE HARD PART

The hard part — but it is the part that I continue to do every day — is getting up after the falls. And I have. And I do. I wonder why I forget this?

I have war scars — or “problem scars” — from all the bumping into problems, and falling down from them. But I have always, always gotten up and finished the race….or at least forfeited if that was the right thing to do. And when that happened, I was harder on myself than other people were hard on me.

TENACITY

The more I’ve come to confront my problems head-on….the less problems I seem to have. Do I have many problems now? *thinking* Of course! But nothing that is impossible. I’m beginning to realize I’m a lot more tenacious than I give myself credit for.

I can do this. Just do this, Tamiko. Gingerly may not always be the way…And I do.  And I fall down. I cuss. I blush. I may cry. I wince. But then I get up because tomorrow is another fresh day.

Thank goodness.

(if disabled, click here)

CHLOE SAYS BYE

Okay, I totally have “baby-fever” — take note, I awwwwwwwwed my way through this video of a little girl named Chloe who waves bye-bye to the patrons descending an elevator in a Boston mall. Awwww…

PLAYLIST FOR RUNNING | COOL DOWN

I really want to see the Tribe Called Quest documentary by Michael Rapaport (see trailer HERE). In the meantime, it’s always a lovely time listening to Tribe…My favorite is this song “Jazz (We’ve Got)” — honestly, it’s too cool for the room.

* Listen to “Jazz (We’ve Got)” HERE *

]]> http://agirlnamedtamiko.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/%e2%99%ab-tribe-called-quest-jazz-weve-got/feed/ 0 agirlnamedtamiko http://agirlnamedtamiko.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/%e2%99%a1-its-going-to-be-worth-it/ http://agirlnamedtamiko.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/%e2%99%a1-its-going-to-be-worth-it/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:11:20 +0000 Tamiko http://agirlnamedtamiko.wordpress.com/?p=7456 ]]> (credit) walking | Selena Vallejo Photography @ etsy

I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy – I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.

― Art Williams