People cry not because they are weak, but because they’ve been strong for too long.
The other day I was driving home in rush hour traffic when I started to cry.
♑ DECEMBER CAPRICORN
I am a Capricorn. Not just any Capricorn. Nope. I’m a December-born Capricorn, which makes me very different than a January-born Capricorn. I’m just saying…
My friend just sent me an astrological profile of a typical Capricorn woman (that’ll be me!) — just for fun, she said. After perusing through it, I was startled to find it’s pretty accurate. Not totally…but pretty accurate. Wait…can anything be only a little bit accurate? Or is that an oxymoron? Anyways, here’s what a typical Cappy woman is like. Perhaps you can guess what is accurate, and what does not pertain to me at all.
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.
– Louise Erdrich (The Painted Drum)
PLAYLIST FOR RUNNING
I was growing up in a predominantly white suburb, and was a student in highschool when this song came out. I was not one to listen to that grungy business, instead I listened to R&B, New Jack Swing styles. I was preppy and wore Esprit and Benetton and Keds! I did not wear plaid shirts or vintage anything…even though I grew up in the (Canadian) Pacific Northwest. I did not have patience for boys with long hair and thrift-store attire and doc martens; I preferred boys who bathed, thankyouverymuch.
…however, this song is so good, right? I also plenty liked that song “Alive” that came out around the same time. I think it’s by Pearl Jam? … [Pause: I have to look it up] … Oh yes, it is (listen HERE). A boy I liked must’ve liked it — ha! Back to “Hunger Strike” — so I can’t remember how I came across or came to like it, but I had a moment back in the day where I listened to this song all the time (indispersed with my R&B, of course — Boyz II Men’s “Cooleyhighharmony” — yeaaah!).
This song is still soooo good today, especially as a song to run to. This song is like grunge-gold, what with Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder together. Geez, the fact that I know who they are makes me infinitely old. *shrug*
…I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.
– Alice Walker (Shrug in The Color Purple)
DAYS GONE BY
Sigh. I am getting older. Obviously. I was born in the ’70s. My stars. Seriously. It’s soooo long ago. I have childhood photos in which my parents’ car was super long and rectangular and pale butter yellow. Ha! My parents are wearing the funkiest outfits. I’m pretty sure my dad is wearing plaid trousers in one of them. Plaid trousers! I guess my dad was all supa dope back in the day.
At this moment…*knock on wood*…aging doesn’t show all that much. I credit my mom’s amazing genes (I swear the mighty woman does not have wrinkles), and my awesome Asian genes. *knock on wood* again. I am seriously one lucky lady.
PLAYLIST FOR RUNNING | COOL DOWN MUSIC
I smile when this song comes on. Doesn’t everyone have one of these persons in their life? Absolutely true that. Perhaps they appeared when you were young and foolish, rather than when you’re older and wiser. Thankfully, it’s only happened to me once. Once! *Clasping hands together in prayer* — thank you, universe! Hot damn, I learned my lesson waaaay back in the day.