In my dual cultures, kissing is not regulatory. It’s actually frowned upon. I mean in public. I do not live in Quebec, which I would say is the only exception. Where I live, we don’t kiss cheeks. You don’t see young amorous couples leaning against public monuments kissing with no cares in the world. Like they do in Europe. Hot damn, the Europeans know all about the kissing.
Now doesn’t everyone enjoy being right-kissed? [refresher here] Come now. Yes, yes, there’s the requisite blushing. Please go ahead. Now being right-kissed is different than just kissing. The latter can just be a peck on the cheek, or bland and dry like an unsalted wafer. Or, ugh, skeezy with all sorts of spiddle and awful, awful trickery of mastication. Blech.
Now about being right-kissed. If I must, I shall describe it to you. Well, it’s the kind of kissing that makes women sigh all sorts of octaves..makes them forget where they are because the world is spinning…makes them tilt up their chin to receive it in the middle of the street, the middle of a restaurant, the middle of anywhere and not care who’s watching…makes them stand on the tips of their toes to receive…makes them smile in that goofy way from the memory of it while lining up to pay for groceries or standing in the elevator…that makes them shiver in a giddy way, like tiny pulses that synapse all over. Am I right or am I right? Right?
A GOOD THING
A good kisser changes it up, depending on the flow, the mood, the moment. It can be soft or deep, with the right flicks of the tongue…it shouldn’t be too hungry, too hard, or too sloppy. Continuous kissing, staccato kissing (for lack of better wording), pecks — they all should be bundled up in a complete package, including the murmurs of delight that accompany the good kissing…as well as the bonus of those fluttering kisses placed everywhere other than the lips. Oh yes, and it’s imperative to be good with one’s hands (proper positioning makes a difference, come on).
And yes…there aren’t many really, really good kissers (ones who are memorable in that good way). Can they be trained? It’s unkind to tell them they need more practice…so sometimes due to circumstance you just have to suck it up. Not pretty. Not fair!
Here’s hoping you’re with certain someone who can right-kiss you, because you deserve that. For real.