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HIBERNATION OVER – YAY!
I think, at least, for now it’s time to come back to this little hobby of mine. It’s the waning days of summer, and although the actual weather transition won’t be until late September, I feel like September means a fresh start — what with the start of school and all that. So here I go…
This is a great thing. I have so much to profess. This year has been transformational, as my *hokey pokey* horoscope said it would be.
SUMMER BLUES & HIGHS
This summer, especially, I’ve grown a craaaaazy amount in a good way. I’ve been told off, basically having an extra asshole ripped outta me – yeah, that kind of told off. That may not sound good, but it was a learning experience that caused the shakes and lots of deep reflection on my part. I think I even thanked the person for ripping me to shreds.
And this person? I don’t even know them that well; not exactly a stranger, not exactly a friend, more like a colleague but not. I may divulge more in a future post.
So, the summer so far…I had a reunion with amazing friends from the past. I traversed across the beautiful island of Kaua’i. I continued on with Miracle Morning routine. I read tons of books. I met up with loads of old friends. I spent lots of family time. I decluttered and downsized. I ate so many things that made my tummy sing. I f-cked up. I made lots of gains. I whined. I self-sabotaged happiness. I cowered out of deep, pulsating (yet unreasonable) fear. But…did I ever RISE too.
MYSTERY – VULNERABILITY
The one thing I have yet to make a significant dent on? — Being vulnerable. God DAMN. It’s so hard to bring down the defences and just be. Why???? This lesson is the most gruelling. But definitely the goddess goal of all goals for me.
One baby step at a time, right? I’m going to start by writing here, as a way to practice being vulnerable, open, raw and honest. It’s time. So many clues and hints and ass-whoopings and brutal (emotional) lessons have led me to this moment where I can no longer run away from my aversion to vulnerability any longer.
It’s on, people. Yeah, it’s on.